• Kris Kuda

"My Ageing Parents Do Not Want Care" - Part 1

“Look Lucy, how many times do I need to tell you that I do not WANT #care #liveincare #careathome or whatever you call it!” “I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and your mother.” My #father got up from his armchair, fumbled about for his walking stick, then made his way slowly out of the conservatory. We had just settled in for a nice afternoon cup of tea and a slice of freshly baked lemon drizzle which I had picked up from the only local bakery still running in the little village where I had grown up in.


I could not help but feel bad for my father, as he walked away slowly it was more of a limp really and seemed to be getting worse. The #doctor had advised him to avoid helping my mother out of bed in the mornings when her joints were stiff as this was affecting his own health, and look into getting a #carer in to help. My father had just dismissed his concerns and said, “It doesn’t happen all the time, I am okay helping her whenever she needs help.”

At this point, my #mother turned and looked at me, “Look dear, I know you mean well, but your father is right, we are just fine.” “I must admit, I do not have as much energy as I used, and getting the dinner ready can be difficult at times, you know with my #arthritis,” she took a long pause, “but we do manage.” “Your father helps me a lot.” “You worry too much dear.” She leaned forward to reach for a slice of #cake. “Oh I do love a lemon drizzle, it reminds me of years gone by when I used to bake every Wednesday.” A smile began to emerge ......”Let’s talk about this another time okay.”


We continued our #tea in silence as I looked out onto my parent’s sizeable and well landscaped #garden which was surrounded by neat borders bursting with vibrant floral. The golden bloom of marigold looking majestic, complimented by pretty pink #peonies, blue #aster and the #zinnias, vibrant and cheerful would pop this time of year. I had always admired our garden even growing up I remembered the look of pride on my mother’s face whenever she spoke about her love of #cyclamen from her childhood. She was always quick to explain the different types and their #flowering seasons. “Flowering time may be any month of the year you know, depending on the species.” And then she would begin to name them all and her face would light up with excitement.


Caring for my elderly parents

As I looked out, the garden was no different than it was back then especially this time of year when everything was in full #bloom. The Japanese Cherry Blossom, one of my favourites was swaying gently in the breeze. As if not a care in the world, in that moment I wished I was that tree.

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